Isn’t it wild how life lessons can pop up in the most random of times? I was watching a football game, something that happens a lot in my family, when I had this epiphany. I will never look at football, or my plans, the same again.
Every team goes into a game with the same overall goal – to win! That’s it. That’s the overarching vision as we say in Life Coaching lingo. To reach that goal, there are many smaller goals along the way. Many of these need to be “won” long before the game even starts. The coaches need to equip their players, not just with proper physical equipment but with game plays, repetition, and verbal motivations (eh-hemm). The players also have responsibility to equip themselves. There is intense physical conditioning and mental mindset preparation. There is a higher level of discipline required. There are groups of people scouting the other teams’ strengths, weaknesses, and strategies. There is film to be studied. There is an overall game plan set in place before the teams even step into the arena. Each piece is critical to achieving the overall goal of winning. Those steps can take months, even years to develop to the level of success.
When it’s kickoff time, each team springs into action running high on adrenaline executing what was designed to work, what was promised and practiced. Yet many times those winning plays don’t work. The run is blocked, the pass picked off, the defense penalized. It happens, it’s what makes the game exciting!
Now, have you ever watched a game where the plays really were not working. I’m talking, the running game is getting blocked again and again. Or the quarterback has had 3 interceptions in a row. Have you ever screamed to the coaches to call a different play???? (I know they can’t hear us, but it’s what we do!) Sometimes coaches adjust and sometimes they stay stubborn and continue to call the plays that are going nowhere.
And that’s where my epiphany began: sometimes we keep forcing the plays that are going nowhere in our own lives simply because that is what we know, it’s what we practiced, it’s what is supposed to work. Yet we are not getting any closer to our goal. So what do we do?
It’s in this moment where too often we call the most terrible play: We quit all together and we shame ourselves for not being able to do it. That play is the absolute worst! That shouldn’t even be an option. Take it out of your playbook right now. No more quitting, no more shaming, no more stubbornly running plays that aren’t working – enough is enough! Call a time-out!
Step back from the frustration of the situation. Give yourself some space. Whether that is physically or just mentally, take a legit time-out. Without judgement, examine what you are currently doing. Just lay it out like a list of facts; here is what I’m doing x, y and z. Continuing without judgement, begin to evaluate the results your actions are creating. And yes, results are being created even if they aren’t the ones you hoped for. Is there added stress on your life? Mental anguish? Frustration? Are you willing to revamp what you are doing? This is a big ask.
We are constantly being fed the top 3 - 5 steps that will make you succeed in business, lose weight, find a spouse, get rich, be a star etc etc etc. We like that simple, quick plan. Yet we neglect the facts that we are not those people, life is not that simple and rarely do good things happen quick! We each have our own unique strengths, weaknesses, perceptions, beliefs, circumstances, resources, struggles, life commitments and emotional baggage. What “works” (and this is often false too!) for one simply will not work for many of us. The ‘one size fits all’ is a myth. Are you willing to put in the effort to create a unique plan that will work for you?
Go back to the football analogy. Remember how I said that most of those critical small goals are achieved long before the game begins, so it is with you. Have you done the work to prepare yourself for achieving the goal? Have you looked at what needs to be actively operating in your life to succeed? Physically? Mentally? Emotionally? Where might you need some more conditioning before getting on your field? What supports are available to you?
Look again at your current plan. This time examine if there is anything that is working that you can build on? Is there anything that can be modified in a way that better aligns with your life? You are not starting from scratch. There were lessons learned. Experience is a great teacher.
At the time I’m writing this it’s mid-January; people are dropping their resolutions like hot potatoes. It’s heartbreaking because I know that each of us can achieve our goals when we create a gameplan that is unique to our lives.
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