In my previous post, we discussed how the weight of a grudge is holding down your body, mind, and future. Reading this, I believe you are ready to lose that weight to begin living more fully in the life you were created for. Part 2 of this series gives five steps to get you started. Let's get to work.
(As mentioned in the first part of this series, this is not for addressing significant trauma. Please seek a licensed mental health professional for the support you need.)
1. Call a grudge a grudge! The first step in achieving anything is awareness. You may be surprised to realize that you are holding a grudge against someone. They may be someone you've known forever, whom you care about. Yet when you hear their name in conversation or when a situation similar to one you experienced with them arises, does anger bubble up? Bitterness? Disgust? Be aware that those are signs you have a grudge to look at.
2. Examine yourself. What is it specifically about the situation that angers you? Be honest with yourself. Was it what was done or how you felt about it? Are you positive the person intended it to play out that way? What evidence do you have to support that? How has it impacted your life? How is holding onto this grudge positively serving you now? What are the benefits of releasing the grudge? Are you willing to do so?
3. Shift your mindset. Now that you are willing to release the grudge, begin looking at that situation differently. Taking a step out of the situation, (act as an observer), can you see any other factors that may support you in letting go of your anger, hurt, or bitterness attached to that memory? Can you reframe your mind to elevate something good from the situation? Is there an area you've grown in? What positive will you use to replace the negative?
4. Forgive. Can you forgive that person? (Forgiveness is not condoning the behavior but releasing its poison within you. Forgiveness has little to do with the other person; it is all for your benefit.) Is there an area where you may need to forgive yourself? Can you give yourself compassion, trusting you did the best you could at that moment with the knowledge and resources you had? Or if you didn’t, can you forgive yourself for that? Trust that the situation will not be wasted if you can learn from it, grow from it, and develop more love for yourself and others.
5. Begin to dream. What dreams need to be reawakened considering this release? Are there areas of your life that you’ve been holding back on pursuing because of this grudge? Was a limiting belief created that needs to be dismantled? What support do you need to get back on track?
I applaud you for courageously taking these steps toward your freedom!! Deep breathe in and out. You are on your way! Don’t you feel lighter?
For additional support, please set up a complimentary Discovery Session below.
photo credit: Anna Baranova
i need to read this-Thank you for this steps to peace of mind